And why do we take a day off from work on Labor Day? I mean, seriously, on Labor Day, we should all be working overtime. I’m talking an 18-hour workday. Ideally in a coal mine. With no lunch break. And we should bring all our kids to work, too. That’s what Labor Day is all about. How will we ever make America great again if we can’t even celebrate Labor Day with a halfway decent work ethic?
And what’s the story with President’s Day? Back in the day (before Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act in 1971, requiring Americans to wear uniforms on Mondays), we celebrated Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday on February 12 and George Washington’s Birthday on February 22. Two great American presidents, each with a separate birthday holiday.
But thanks to the catastrophic muddle called President’s Day, Washington and Lincoln have to share their birthdays with the likes of Rutherford B. Hayes (born on October 4), and Zachary Taylor (November 24), and Martin Van Buren (December 5). That’s just wrong. The only reasonable solution? Make every president’s birthday its own national holiday. The benefit? Great deals on mattresses 45 days a year.
Not convinced? Sleep on it. That’s how we did things, back in the day.